Random Catch Up Post

So yesterday we went to the gym and I didn't take the stroller with me. I'm an idiot and a bad mom. Saoirse was downstairs by the key desk, Oscar was halfway up the stairs and Nuala was up and around and out into the parking lot.

Geez, get control of your kids lady.

I was feeling rather deflated when I trudged through the backdoor, only to be greeted first thing by these little rays of sunshine.

Not the Craisins, the flowers. I know it's silly but I may have gasped a little bit, out loud even, as the morning mishaps suddenly vanished. I simply adore this man. ADORE him. He gives me love and encouragement and support and hope just when I need it the most.

I never posted these from the fall, but this darling girl is another source of hope that I drawn strength from. Considering that I had her as a teenager with the odds stacked against us, I'd say we found our way home quite gracefully really.

She's so amazing. It actually does take a village and I'm so thankful for the one that gathered us into it's arms and saw us through those early years. She is amazing because of you.

I know I've hinted to this, but let me just say that I am having a hard time with the twins right now. I'm trying to keep my patience, but man oh man are they really testing the boundaries and just.not.listening.at.all. Uggggg. I know it's a phase and we'll rise to the top once more, but jeez louise they're lucky they're so cute! So for anyone reading this who has any misconception that things are just hunky dory over here 100% of the time, well please ask my neighbors about the dragon in the driveway who can't seem to load her kids into the car without raising her voice! Nothing is perfect and nothing ever will be and that's why this life is so special. And just because I don't use this blog as a way to show you all my smoky dragon breath moments, well don't think they aren't there. I'm struggling in the beauty just as much as anyone.

And since I never did a proper Christmas post, and probably never will, here are a few randoms just to give you an idea. We did a ton of crafts during December. Some got finished and wrapped and lovingly gifted, while others simply got started.

I made an Advent Calendar this year. Well, half of one anyways. The kids had fun munching on "treat calendar" goodies each night right up until the 16th when their luck pretty much ran out. Next year I'll finish it, I really will.

Here's a kitty hat I knit for Sidhe.

And while Nuala didn't get her fish tank from Santa, she did get a few new fish friends to cuddle with.

Here's a little bluebird for Miss Ruari. I wanted to sew one for everybody, but ran out of time (shocker).

Diving way back into the archives, how about a little holiday parade (before Thanksgiving even) to get you in the spirit?

Maija and Sidhe marched in the parade with their school band and so we huddled up with some of our neighbors, who just so happen to be professional parade-goers, to clap and cheer and share some holiday joy. So thank you Joyce, because to be quite honest we were thinking about skipping the whole dang thing until you showed up with your contagious enthusiasm, the hot cocoa and popcorn were an added bonus.

So there you have it, some more playing catch up as we head into Friday afternoon. I'm so excited because we are going to my favorite pizza place tonight to kick start what is going to be a great weekend. I hope you stay warm and find some time to cuddle up with someone you love. The twins ask me every night to cuddle with them, and sometimes I'm busy, like really busy and say "no" and then I think, "what in the world are you doing lady?"

I have older kids. I know for a fact that they won't want to cuddle forever. And really, what's more important than a cuddle?

The Nanny

My alarm went off at 4:50 this morning. That's sort of early around here, especially for me. I'm not sure if I should admit this or not, but Brendan does early bird duty at our house. Gets up with whoever is the first to rise and makes sure the morning routine goes as smoothly as possible for all the school-agers. He even brews me a pot of coffee and when I hear the grinder start up in the kitchen I know I only have a few minutes left before I get my official wake up call.

This system stems from the fact that I was a nursing mother. For months and months, heck maybe even years, I was the one who had to get up each night to hush and lull and nurse 3 little ones. So it only seemed natural that I should get to sleep in a little bit each morning.

Yeah, it's a bit of an outdated system. There haven't been any midnight feedings around here in a long time. In fact I'm going to come right out and say that I am officially done nursing. Even in the daylight. It's been a long time coming, and it still hasn't truly sunk in yet, but Saoirse is done, she doesn't even ask me anymore. A part of me is relieved, free. Another part of me is heartsick. When the twins weaned I was already 5 months pregnant with Saoirse so I knew that I'd nourish another, but this time it's different. She's the baby and she's done. You'd think that after four consecutive years of sharing my body with babies that I'd be rejoicing over this milestone, and I will, but I'd be lying if I said that I was doing cartwheels and blowing up balloons. Maybe in time.

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We went to the children's museum today, which always throws Oscar off a bit. "What do you mean it doesn't have any din-O-saurs?", he asks skeptically, like he doesn't believe for one second that it could possibly be fun, or even a museum for that matter, without any terrible lizards lurking about. I convinced him to keep an open mind.

I did it, I turned the twins forward facing when they turned three.

Saoirse is still rear facing and will be for at least another 18 months.

So last week the library ended with dragon breath. I decided to make things easier on all of us for today's field trip. I invited the nanny along.

Isn't she pretty?

Aside from the initial upset she caused in our house, which was more my fault than hers (apparently husbands like to know ahead of time when you spend small fortunes), she has without a doubt been worth every single penny and then some. Today when it was time to leave the museum and Oscar was running away screaming and Saoirse was running away screeching and Nuala was running away giggling, yeah, well it didn't even phase me (that much) because the nanny was there to lend a hand.

Now if I could just remember to take her along to the library.

*Oh and as for why I got up at 4:50 this morning? I have officially started my 2011 San Francisco Marathon training. More on this later*

Needles

Once again we had our tree up the day after Thanksgiving. Brenna approved.

Once again we left it up way longer than we should have. I am happy to say that it is finally laying on the curb after one last photo shoot this weekend. We are still cleaning up needles.

Micah went to his first sleepover birthday party on Saturday. At a hotel. How is that even possible? I still remember bringing him home from the hospital like it was yesterday. Someday I'll scan a ton of photos and show you just how chunky and adorable he was as a babe.

Although if you ask me, he's even cuter now.

And just tons of fun when you catch him in a good mood.

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Date night looked a little different than I predicted, but it was absolutely delicious nonetheless.

I have no idea what it's called, but it involved pork ribs, tofu and greens so who cares about the name? Plus, there was fried pastry. Oh, it was so good.

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And since I am playing catch up, here are a couple of Thanksgiving shots.

No fun here, nope, never.

This is the friendship that brought our two families together in the first place back when they were munchkins themselves and it has been amazing to watch them mature over the years. I wonder what this year will hold for them? They've got middle school stories to tell (and not tell) nowadays and life seems a bit more complicated than it used to. I have a feeling that the next few years are going to be a roller coaster, so I'm getting ready to hold on tight while still enjoying the ride.

Dragons

Now before I go getting all carried away with sunshine and ponies and happily ever afters, let me just say that not every day is going to be one of balance and harmony. I was reminded of this on a recent (as in one hour ago) trip to the public library when all hell broke loose while I was trying to lure three library fanatics home for lunch. You would have thought I was trying to take them off to jail had you been there to witness the scene.

Imagine Oscar standing at the top of a large staircase screaming his head off. Nuala at the bottom of the staircase making a swift beeline for the parking lot and Saoirse stranded in the middle of the staircase, in the arms of her bewildered looking fire breathing dragon of a mother. A dragon who also happens to be balancing about 13 books in her other arm while looking back in forth between the screamer up top and the dasher down below who she can actually no longer see on account of that one made it around the bend, through the doors, down the hallway and out, OUT, into the parking lot all by herself.

Then imagine a stranger walking past and asking "Is that YOUR child?" in more of an accusatory tone than an inquisitive one, while the baby throws her hat over the banister and books start sliding to the floor. Oscar still screaming.

"Yes, and if I had 6 hands then she'd be right by my side" I hissed through gritted teeth at the poor lady who probably was just trying to help, although she offered zero assistance. Quick assessment of the situation and the books were put down, Oscar was left to his screaming and Saoirse and I were out to the parking lot to collect Nuala who was definitely then dragged back inside by the hood of her jacket to the check out desk. Luckily Oscar had pulled himself together by this point, didn't much care for performing for strangers once mom was out of sight, and a wise librarian had already scanned our books. At the counter Nuala was able to stay close by (although this was partially because I literally smooshed her between the counter and my legs~who needs 6 hands when you have strong thighs?) and we were finally able to make a clean getaway with as much dignity left (none) as possible.

"We are never and I mean never ever EVER coming back to the library ever again!!! (insert breath of fire)" the dragon roared in the parking lot.

So, yeah, there you have it. How's that for honor?

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Luckily for us, baby dragons are pretty darn cute and mama dragons don't hold grudges, and even though there are roaring moments, we usually have a much tamer soundtrack around these parts. Like splashing in puddles while dancing under rainbows.

Crunching in crispy snow.

Kissing a frog prince.

Or stirring sidewalk stew. These are the more prominent and gentle sounds we listen to and hum along with everyday.

And if those don't calm the spirit, well, there's always the realization that Friday brings the weekend and the promise of date night, which usually looks something like this.....

No dragons allowed.

Pajama Mornings

This is what our morning looked like today. A little bit of pajamas. A little bit of story books. A little bit of couch cuddling. Flannel meets faux fur meets Dinosaur Stomp meets mother's melting heart. Yes, it was that good.

The twins started a four day schedule at school this semester and have dropped nap times, so it's safe to say that they are tired. Yesterday morning by this time we had already been kissed by butterflies. Today it was nice to lounge around for a pajama morning.

We didn't get dressed until after lunch and only because I didn't really think I should send them to school in their slippers.

So we lounged and we lingered. Drinking up the slow pace, soaking up the sunlight and feeling a calmness within that fed us comfort food and asked us to stay for just a little while longer. And so we did.

I love going on "field trips" and adventures, cabin fever deems day trips absolutely necessary to the survival of this entourage, but it's so important to balance yourself. To listen to what you need and to go out and find it. Even if you only have to travel as far as the living room.

First real snow of the season a few weeks back and you should have seen the snowball fight Brendan had with the kids, it was fantastic, the stuff legends are made of. The type of fun that will have them throwing snowballs at him for the rest of winter just in the hopeful anticipation that it will spark another round, even if it's only half as much fun as they had that day.

Of course, Oscar wasn't into the snowball scene. Seems that snow cones are more to his liking.

And little Miss? She was ready to go inside after about 90 seconds, my little Snow White.

Last year was an intense time of growth for me, it was a growing year. This year has begun as a healing period. It's a lengthy process but one that has already revealed so much to me and one that will naturally lead to more growth. I have been thinking a lot lately about what I want and what I need, caught up in trying to sort out what is real. Figuring out what I want to carry with me and what I can allow myself to part ways with. We carry so much with us at times that it's a wonder we get anywhere at all. I'm not big on resolutions, mainly because I'm terrible at following through with just about anything, but this year I have some pretty big ideas about what I want. I have some pretty big intentions and a fairly specific destination, but I won't be able to get there without letting go first. I've been carrying too much and it's time to tuck it away, to let it go as peacefully as possible. And so my resolution this year is honor. I will do everything I possibly can to honor this life, because honestly, this life is simply too amazing for anything less.

So, whatever you have planned for yourself this year, wherever your intentions take you, I hope it is lovely and that you find what you need.

Now let's show 2011 what we've got.

Butterflies

Today was a butterfly day.

We've been holed up for weeks now with holiday hustle and bustle and the twins have been begging for butterflies for quite some time. Today was the perfect day to grant their wish.

(I just love shooting in continuous mode, especially with kids!)

Sometimes they really are perfectly matched counterparts, and while Nuala is silly and whimsical Oscar is damn near stoic. What I love is that inside he felt pretty much the same way she did about the butterflies, but he could hardly breathe let alone smile.

So here he is smiling on the inside.

Saoirse pouted when it was time to leave.

And just a couple of random thoughts for the day.

(I love this timetable, really helps put things in perspective.)

And of course life can't always be butterflies and rainbows now can it? Although if you asked Oscar, he'd pretty much tell you that this is the pot of gold waiting for you on the other side.

Today was one of the first times they really stopped to study some of the scenery. Don't get me wrong, they love the museum and have probably already been at least a dozen times, but today they took a little bit of extra time to really explore and ask questions. It's great watching this type of growth.

We're Back!

Sometimes after a prolonged absence it's nearly impossible to make your way back. It's been over a month since my last post and as the days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months it became harder and harder to get back in the swing of things. It almost felt as if I would need something really big to lead with. I would need all the best pictures and all the right words and perhaps the perfect song....

Unfortunately, I don't have any of those things tonight, but maybe this will be enough to get us back on track. Maybe if I just say that the past few weeks have been chaotic and lovely and whirlwindy, then that will be enough. Maybe if I just tell you that our household is bursting with holiday cheer and leftover spirit and so much continuous motion it would make your head spin, you'd believe me and leave it at that. Maybe if I confessed that the last few months of 2010 were very difficult and painful and hard but that I learned my lessons, have finally embraced forgiveness and am now ready to forge ahead once more, it would help ease any questions about where on earth I've been for so long.

Because I am still right here. Right here loving my life, loving my kids and my Mister, loving the joy and light and perhaps even loving the bits that hurt as well. We are incredibly, just ridiculously lucky to have this life together and I am ready to start the year off with some pretty hopeful intentions. So let's get back on with the show shall we?

(Best I could do for now, but I promise new pictures will arrive shortly)