Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Maija Goes To College

Taking Maija to college was one of the most emotionally draining things I've encountered as a parent thus far. Are we happy for her? Yes. Did we know this was where the road was leading? Without a doubt. Is everyone excited about her new journey? Of course. But can we just be honest for a minute, and cut the crap? It still sucked, ok? Guys, I still remember the day she was born, the actual moment I held her soft tiny body in my arms for the very first time. She was so purple and I was so loud with my weeping; tears that wracked my entire being all the way to the center of infinity, all the way to the bottom and then beyond as if we were limitless and the world couldn't contain our hearts, our love. It was as if I floated away in that moment and was reborn again new, healed from all that had once been shattered within. SHE was the light, she was my salvation, she taught me and saved me and healed me. She made me a mother and I'll never be able to repay her for that, not if I tried wholeheartedly for the rest of my days. And here is the honest truth, I am in awe of her. 

So leaving her in Minnesota, at the edge of the new beginning, in a room with a stranger was just terrible. It was like having the wind knocked out you. Like walking through a dream. It was in fact like having an out of body experience. It was sort of like floating away again except this time she was the one defying gravity while the rest of us watched and waved and tried to smile while wiping the tears from our cheeks. One month later and all I can say is thank goodness for modern technology or I think I would have lost my damn mind by now. 

P.S Not that it matters since I'm not a photographer, but every single one of these photos is SOOC.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Summer Intro

Wrapping up the school year and gearing up for the long days of summer. I took Maija to visit her college in Minnesota last week, freshman registration, and it is finally starting to feel real. The fact that she is moving on, that we did it. We did it, we made it through an entire childhood. I don't have a heavy heart, perhaps I will in a few short months as we're packing her life away into boxes, or maybe it won't hit me until after we start a new school year without her at home. In certain ways I am very nostalgic for the past, but mostly the future seems so beautiful, so enticing, and I've learned that letting go does not mean losing out. Mothering her throughout the ages and stages has been a true gift, but mothering her NOW in the present is just as lovely; we're simply getting better with age I tell ya!