Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Is It A Problem Yet?

Today was one of those days where I just never felt like I completely woke up. Do you ever have one of those? Where your eyelids simply won't cooperate and your energy level is at an all time low? I haven't had one of these in a while, for quite some time actually, but today I took a nap on the couch after parking the twins in front of Nemo and laying Skittle Bug down for her own sleepy time. I don't remember the last time I did this, perhaps my body is sending me a message?

Hey lady, it's great that you are so driven, but please slow down!

Message received.

It's our neighborhood rummage this weekend and I think we might just throw some stuff on the lawn this year, baby stuff in particular. Although the last time we sold all the baby stuff we wound up pregnant a few weeks later, so.........perhaps I should just donate it all this time around.

Saoirse took her first step tonight, totally on accident of course, but soon she'll be running around the house and all traces of my baby, my last baby, will be pushed aside to make room for toddler hood. I'm still in denial that it's her birthday on Friday.

I'm tired of having three kids in diapers. I am exhausted at the idea of toilet training two kids at once. Maybe I should divide and conquer this one, but I can't decide if doubling the amount of time is really any less work than just doing it all at once. It's time though. Once the twins are out of diapers we'll be saving about $1000 a year, maybe that will motivate me.

Did I mention that Saoirse still gets up at night? Hmmmm, it's only a problem when it becomes a problem. I used to get paranoid about the books and the methods and the sleep training and the long term consequences and the pressure (usually self inflicted) to do everything the "right way". Ha! My philosophy with Skittle Butt has been that it isn't a problem until it's a problem. Makes perfect sense to me at least, and I have to say that it is now becoming a problem. Of course I decided this last night at 11:30pm when she woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep even after I nursed her. So, I patted her head and said goodnight and then tortured both myself and my husband by letting her cry. And cry, and cry, and cry, and cry AND CRY. I went in at set intervals that got further and further apart, and she responded by crying in waves that grew and grew in intensity until none of us could stand it any more and I finally rescued her and nursed her back down off the ledge, feeling terrible and guilty as we rocked together in the dark.

Major decisions like these are probably best made in the light of day when no one is screaming and everyone is awake. And of course, hearing my baby screaming in her crib for 37 minutes is even more of a problem than being woken up and tending to a non screaming baby for 10 minutes a few times a week. I don't know......

Which of course reminds me that I am incredibly tired and need to get to bed, just wanted to sneak in a few random updates first. Good night all.

1 comment:

CraftyRachel said...

We have had those nights. Our "baby" is now 20 months old and has always reacted the same way to those incremental intervalls of being left crying. This past week he's been sleeping at least until 4am, which is an improvement over wanted to nurse all night in our bed. I feel like sometimes these things work themselves out, but not necessarily on our schedules!

P.S. I love your blog and found it through our old friend Grace. I think we met many many years ago (high school?) I am also into knitting and in awe of how you are able to work on such projects!!