Today I wrestled with the age old dilemma of mom guilt. The constant tug of war that pretty much every mom struggles with at one point or another. It's complicated, has the potential to be fairly dangerous, and will eat you alive if you don't learn how to accept it and let it go. I've made peace with mine, for the most part. I know that it's always going to be there, but I've learned to play nice. I've learned to be gentle with the mom of our house.
Today the mom guilt was all about time management, I actually believe that the majority of mom guilt is, and it had me running around in circles trying to plan a morning that would be balanced and fair to all of us. Going to the gym is a "me" thing, going on a field trip is an "us" thing and going to school is a "them" thing (at least for the twins). Me. Us. Them. For some reason today I had all three pitted against one another.
I love going to the gym, I would seriously go every day if I could, but sticking them in daycare every morning so that I can do something just for myself doesn't feel 100% kosher in my book so I feel the need to balance it out with a little give and take.
Like for instance, if I go the gym for an hour then I will need to balance it out with oh say a trip to the library story hour, or a visit to the children's museum. A trade off of sorts, that has me earning free time for myself in the form of running shoes and an iPod in exchange for quality~mom~approved extra curriculars.
Today, in my attempt to balance the mom guilt check book by cramming one too many activities into an already cramped amount of time (What time is story hour? Are the twins too old? If the library opens at 9 and the gym childcare opens at 10:30, will we have enough time for enrichment, 5 miles and lunch all before having to get to school by 12:30?) I realized that perhaps the mom guilt was getting a little too much of the spotlight.
Today, I finally decided to wave the white flag and just stay home. Me, us, them, and we all agreed there was no need to invite any mom guilt along for the ride.
Today we enjoyed a little bit of morning art.
Today we flipped through the worn pages of library books
Today we basked (we BASKED) and it was lovely, way better than any story hour.
Today we chronicled a 'day in the life' of this honorary family member. I was walking past the couch this morning and said, "Good morning Woody", in my head of course, but it still struck me as sort of strange even for me because of course he's not actually a part of our family....So I decided to see what his morning plans included and as it turns out, he's a pretty busy guy.
These were seriously all taken with zero staging or prompting on my part. I just made an effort to try and snap a picture of this cowboy whenever I happened to spot him on a new adventure.
I guess I didn't realize just how much Nuala still takes a shine to him. Perhaps I will need to replace her headless doll after all (this is actually Oscar's, hers was beheaded a few weeks back).
Today we opened the garage, which was almost better than Christmas. Did you know that there are about 100 super cool toys in there that haven't seen the light of day in months? Toys that the twins pretty much forgot we even had?
Today we went for a bike ride. Every single muddy puddle sprayed water on all four of us, but we didn't even care for one second. Being outside is sort of like that by the time February rolls around, you take what you can get, mud puddles and all.
Today we went bowling.
You should have seen her sheer determination as she set up the pins over and over again.
As soon as she had everything properly placed, she'd swing an arm or a leg around just so and everything would topple down and she'd have to start all over again.
Never once was she fazed, just totally absorbed in her work and it was beautiful.
Today I held a mandatory after dinner photo shoot for Maija and Micah (the other three were with their mom). I do most of my picture taking with sunlight while the school-agers are away, it's a lazy trap to fall into and I need to get better at shooting even after the sunset.
Today we were once again reminded that a slower pace does not mean defeat and mom guilt is not always the best motivator especially when there is a fabulous story hour taking place right in the comfort of your very own home.
Tomorrow however, we're going to the gym.